why the sudden change

666

i recently decided to start the no soda diet again, and so i open our fridge today and what do i see? my mom has stocked our fridge with my favorite pineapple soda. oh throw in a new bottle of coke while we're at it.


fun.

..and i miss you even here taking this all in

pat picked me up and we took a long walk along the train tracks as the beautiful weather accompanied us. i wanted to consume it all. for it to consume me. to soak myself in it. for it to drench me. everything from last summer rushed back - who i was with, the pair of shorts i was wearing, the itch on my feet from treading through dried grass in flip flops, the dim lighting of the train station, the stain from the tanning lotion i used on my fingers. that feeling of wishing time would take its time. i was suddenly overcome with an overpowering feeling of missing. missing someone. some place. some thing.

ps. accepted

babson!

i think baby, i wouldnt mind to die like this

and maybe next time it won't be so easy for you to stray

give me a good reason

oh hey graceoday: i wish it was aprillllll
oh hey graceoday: because that signifies
oh hey graceoday: 1. the end to the extended day
oh hey graceoday: 2. financial aid and allll acceptances will be out by then so we can all figure out where we're going to college
oh hey graceoday: 3. almost april vacation
oh hey graceoday: 4. almosttttt the end of school
oh hey graceoday: 5. nicer weather
oh hey graceoday: 6. easter aka more days off from school thanks to jesus and his amazing selflessness
oh hey graceoday: 7. easter candy
oh hey graceoday: 8. anybody that was born in october can celebrate a half birthday?
oh hey graceoday: 9. i'll get to hang out with you more because we'll awake from hibernation
oh hey graceoday: 10. and it's that time that the teachers pretty much stop caring about you

fml

lost my ipod. didnt see that coming.

complacency is lost

for a while, i had consistency, but lately, my moods resemble a polygraph chart. the highest high and the lowest low. ive grown more attached, more than i wouldve liked, more than i wouldve expected. in my attachment, ive grown dependent. i want it. i need it. i want and need more of it. crawling into bed at the end of the day, i am exhausted. drained. there is nothing left in me, but a constant questioning, wondering if i'll get what i need today, and the next, and the next? ive slipped and invested too much - too much and not getting back the fair trade. when exactly did i lose the upperhand?